This evening, while enjoying a lettuce salad topped with Newman’s Own Light Balsamic Vinaigrette, I stumbled upon (who would have guessed?) the label on the back side of the dressing bottle. It was obscure.
“The Great Salad Dressing Balloon Race Across the Boot of Italy. An armada of balloons loaded with Light Balsamic. the starters gun – Baoombah! They all rise majestically into the air. Newman’s Own Balloon with fewer calroies, most taste and secretly propelled by charity, flies faster than Kraft and further than Wishbone. First across. First on the ground. El Piloto quaffs much quaffs of Newman’s Own Light Balsamic in victory. A medium light Italian starlet, daughter of Butch Cassidini, named B*tch Cassidini, leaps into the balloon basket, kisses Piloto, her lips smeared with Newman’s own Light Balsamic, she murmerrs, “You taste of Sicily, of Vesuvius, of Naples, baby”, and patting his fanny she whispers, “and no fat.”
Some clever copywriter is sitting in a dark cubicle somewhere wondering how many people actually stop and read his witty little story on the back of the Newman’s Own Light Balsamic Vinaigrette.
What does your Newman’s say?